National Suicide Prevention Day 1-800-273-8255

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1-800-273-8255 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. They also offer texts and online chatting prevention services. Light a candle at 8pm and place it near a window ❤
A middle school girl locked herself in her bedroom. She often cried behind closed doors so no one else would see her. She sat there, gun in hand, finger on the trigger and gun resting against her temple. With tears flooding her face, she desperately wanted to pull the trigger, yet something tugged at her heart and for a moment she thought of all the people it would impact. All the times she thought to herself that so many lives would be improved if she weren’t alive, they disappeared in that brief moment. Scared, sad, ashamed and alone she took her finger away from the trigger and slowly moved the gun away from her head until it rested on the ground next to her. Wiping her face, she got up and unlocked her door and snuck off to return the gun to where it belonged. No one ever knew and no one would have ever known. I know she credits God for that moment of clarity in such a chaotic time in her mind. I know she would have missed out on so much happiness, happiness she never thought was possible; a wholeness she never thought attainable. I know she would have never experienced true love, marriage and multiple pregnancies/birth. She would have never been called wife or mother. I know all these things because that middle school girl was me.

Even the people who seem the happiest and always go out of their way to help others need help too. You never know what storm lies within another, so be kind and always show others that you care and they matter.

The topic of suicide should be freely discussed without judgment. It should always be a safe topic. It takes only a few seconds to truly ask someone how they are and listen to them. If anyone reading this ever needs anyone to vent to, I am always available.

There is a story that only you can finish, so please keep going and hang on because as much as you don’t believe it gets better….IT DOES!

; Your Story Does Not End Here!

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Praising God In The Storm

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I have to start off with apologizing for neglecting my blog lately! 😣 So many things going on and time is not slowing down! As most of you probably know from previous posts, I am pregnant and actually due in another 5 weeks or so! Just trying to get things in order for go-time!

Being so close to the end of pregnancy you would assume it’s the time where relaxation kicks in and you’re just resting and waiting…maybe with the first child, but this is baby number 3 and things have been a bit wonky! It feels as if all these random little events keep happening and they all add up the stress! I know so many of you can relate to that one-thing-after-another feeling and it doesn’t treat the anxiety well!

It’s funny because every time I think what else could happen, I also think what is God keeping from happening? There’s two sides to everything and I definitely believe that many times when it feels like all these random events keep unfolding at the worst possible times, God is setting you up for greater things in the near future! Granted, in those moments when everything seems to be out of control, it’s hard to have this mindset but hopefully after things have calmed down a bit, we’re able to sit back and actually contemplate about what is happening, the actual severity of it and what good can come from it.

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I often mention Job or revisit Job in the Bible to gain perspective. I have always gravitated towards the book of Job and have many times been inspired in a variety of ways. The theme of Job could probably best be summarized in a question…Why does God let bad things happen to good and innocent people? Job had not done anything wrong, yet within one day alone he lost his livestock, servants and all 10 children! That was just one day! Can you imagine how overwhelmed we would feel if we lost even half of that in the course of a day? Even after suffering such great loss, Job still blessed God in his prayers. When we think we have it bad, sometimes it’s not as bad as we initially perceive it to be. How often far more simple things happen to us and yet we feel the need to question God’s motives.

We should be thankful in the bad just as we are in the good because we have limited understanding of our lives and what evil God is saving us from in the future. I’m sure I have typed this before but it’s so very true, God has the panoramic view to our lives, we simply see in tunnel vision. We are often focused on what is currently right in front of us that we tend to forget there is a bigger picture to behold. We cannot worry ourselves with why others who do wrong don’t seem to experience as many hardships nor do we need to question why God is allowing what seems like bad things to befall us. Our understanding of our lives and life in general is extremely limited, whereas God has the infinite knowledge; how could we lack trust when He is God of ALL? Who are we to question God’s motives? We cannot just go through life expecting only to experience the good!

Although it’s easier to praise God during those good times, we would do good to remember to praise him in the times when it feels the hardest; that’s where, I believe, the most true and deepest blessings come from. Anyone can be thankful when they’re surrounded by clear blue skies, but what about when those dark gray clouds crowd around and the challenges of life seem to rain down? Where is our thankfulness then? Let us not focus on what is happening in the moment right in front of us, but rather thank God in the midst of the storm for what He is saving us from in the future. It may be difficult to train our minds to work that way at first, but once we realize how true it is that if this bad had not occurred, our blessing could not have happened, it’ll make it that much easier to have that mindset.

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Think of several times where things went wrong in your life and I’ll wager some kind of positive came from it, in some form, whether right after or years after. A quick example for me that came to mind was my miscarriage. Maybe it’s come to my mind so quickly because I am getting closer to giving birth, but had that misfortune never happened, who is to say I would have my other son and now this little girl I am currently carrying? Sometimes God takes from us to allow room for bigger blessings to flow, we just have to trust that He knows best! He is on our side and He does not rejoice in our misfortunes but rather hopes for us to put more trust in Him.

I pray today for anyone who feels caught up in a web of what seems like constant hard times Lord, may they know that You are for them and that You go through it with them. May they realize they may be going through a stretch of bad times now, but it will pass and blessings will be waiting on the other side! May our hearts see a different view during difficult times and allow us to have a more faithful and positive response as opposed to a “poor me” or “why me” attitude. Thank you Lord for the good and the bad because we know they work hand in hand. In Your name we pray, Amen!

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Much Love and God Bless!

Turn The Tables On Evil!

As most of you who read my blogs can tell, my faith plays a big role in my life; it always has. It helps me through even the darkest of times because I am confident in God and His love for me. I truly believe those words, speak those words and yet on some days I can’t help but feel like such a contradiction.

I know it’s days, like today, when the enemy gets the better of me and invades my mind. Satan loves to use my anxiety/panic disorders against me and he can be so relentless and ruthless. As strong of faith as I believe I have, I get so ashamed of myself when I lose those daily battles in my mind. I am aware that the enemy’s plan is just that; weaken me bit by bit until he gets the majority control over my thought process. You would assume being so aware of those facts would make it easier to fight back, yet sometimes I never see it coming until it’s too late!

After enduring anxiety and panic most of my 30 years, I can still be ambushed. It may not come as easily as it once did, as I have learned to fight back and hold my own, but still it happens more than I’d care to admit. I feel like a walking contradiction because here I am always speaking words of hope and encouragement to others who are in need of them, and yet I can’t even take my own advice when I truly need to! I also can sit and hear myself ask, “How can you call yourself a true believer if you let so much doubt consume you in certain times!?” The doubt, in any form, is probably what causes me the most remorse. You can try to call it anything else, but in all honesty it is doubt. If I have so much faith in God, why then do I allow the enemy to get me to ask myself questions like the one previously stated or to fill my mind with nothing but worst case scenarios? It truly is frustrating.

I pray quite a bit, especially in my most anxious moments. I ask God to guard my mind and allow only good and pleasing thoughts in. I often pray for overall protection, both physically and mentally. I honestly don’t know where I would be without my faith because many times I feel as if that’s all I have on my side; definitely not a bad thing to have God on my side though! When you have anxiety/panic not many people can relate personally, so you feel even more isolated. When you’re often viewed as a person of positivity, you feel like a fraud when you become lost in the disorders you have. It can truly be disheartening.

I have so many worries, fears and stresses currently that I have become overwhelmed and Satan has been lurking in the corner waiting to take advantage. Today has been a tough day for me and I contemplated what I could do to turn it around, if only just for a moment. How could I turn the tables on Satan and his lies? Blog. Share your raw feelings, emotions and thoughts with your readers and let them see you vulnerable. Allow them to see that faith in God does NOT mean you get an easy pass in life; it does not mean you will not have to endure hard times, but it allows you peace, comfort and hope for the future!

My mind can be an extremely cruel and merciless place at times and obviously I can’t just get away from myself. I have to focus more on God’s words and promises and trust that He is already ahead of me and has protected me and carried me through! He is working all together for good and He will lead me where I need to be and allow all to unfold just when it needs to, I need only to be still.

I pray tonight for anyone out there who is struggling with anxiety, panic, fear, worry, stress, depression etc, whether they’re reading this or not, may they find comfort in knowing God is on their side and He will go with them wherever they go. May we all realize, no matter how alone and isolated we feel, we are never alone!

Much Love and God Bless ❤

P.s. Use your struggles as weapons of good against evil. Use your dark times to help reach more people! Don’t be silent about your hard times; be open so that others know they aren’t alone in how they feel!

True Contentment

I had an opportunity this morning to listen to the last of the sermon series I have shared my notes and outlines on, Soul Therapy. The last sermon has to do with the topic of contentment. The Apostle Paul wrote Philippians while he was incarcerated in a Roman prison. He was writing to the Philippian church to encourage them, all while he was in prison for simply teaching and speaking about God. He had never even committed a crime, yet he was guarded and being treated as one of the worst kinds of criminals.

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The Niche of Contentment

The word niche comes from the French and Latin word which means a nest. The dictionary defines it as a comfortable or suitable position in life. In other religions contentment is said to be something achieved through the suppression of all desires, apathy and the resignation to fate and accepting whatever life offers you. For us in Christianity, true contentment in life is a contentment that comes from being right with God and knowing He supplies everything we need.

The foundation for contentment rests on these three points:

My attitude. This means my attitude towards God, my life and the events happening in my life and around me. We cannot control anything that happens around us; most things are out of our control although we do have influence over certain things. A bad thought process will never lead to contentment, therefore we must think right about ourselves, God and what’s going on in our lives and the world. Paul was jailed and treated like a criminal although he had never committed a crime and everything happening to him was unfair, yet he did not let that alter his attitude.

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My actions. We must always do what is right in any situation. Never let our situations dictate our actions!

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My adequacy or who I am in Christ! Again, Paul never stopped doing what he knew he should be doing. He had contentment through Christ and he kept persevering despite events unfolding on his life. Many of us would give into a negative thought process and grow more and more apathetic by the day; we would ask why is this happening to me, but not Paul. Paul knew that his strength came from the Lord.

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Here are some keys to maintaining contentment.

We must first make our relationship with God a priority. Our relationship with God must be the most important in our lives. He must take number 1 spot over even our relationships with our spouses, children or any family member or friend. If He is number one, all other relationships will thrive. Our contentment is based on our relationship with Him and not on worldly things such as how much money we make, the car we drive, how big our house is, how educated we are, our social status or even through our spouse. He is the biggest and most important key to contentment in our lives.

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We must view our life through an eternal lens. This spiritual lens comes from being content with knowing God. Paul is a prime example. Although Paul was enduring much negative in his life, he remained upbeat and kept spreading the word of God to even his guards in the prison. He knew that life wasn’t just about today or tomorrow, but about eternity in Heaven and bringing as many people with him as he could!

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We must also learn to live an unselfish life. We can’t just concern ourselves with our best interest but the interests of others as well. Selfish people are never content! They’re always worried they’ll lose something and usually material items. We have to learn to be generous in every aspect of our lives.

Lastly, we must know that we are growing as a person. Paul was a highly respected religious scholar who had great influence yet he said none of that was of any importance compared to his faith in God through his Christianity. Although he was well-educated, he still knew he had much left to learn. He understood that there was always room for improvement and you’re never too old to stop learning and growing. Some people believe they’re old enough to have learned everything they need to learn, but there is so much more out there that we will never stop learning. We should never get to a point in life where we think we have nothing left to learn. One of the greatest cello players, Pablo Casals, was asked why he still practiced playing 6 hours a day at the age of 95 when he was already noted for being one of the greatest, he said he was still making progress, learning and improving his craft. He believed he still had more to learn, at the age of 95! May we never stop learning; forget the past and set our eyes to the future.

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I pray that all of you reading can find true contentment in life through Christ. May we ALL look at life through an eternal lens just as Paul did! May we follow Paul’s example that no matter what is happening to us or around us, that we remain upbeat and joyful because our strength comes from the Lord and He is FOR us, never against us; working all together for good for those that love Him! 🙌

Much Love and God Bless 💚

Free To Trust

I apologize for failing to post yesterday! Our second year of home schooling is starting today, so I was gathering and organizing the last materials! This post will be a continuation of the soul therapy sermon series I have been listening to and taking notes from. As you could probably already figure out, the subject is trust.

The definition of trust: A firm belief in the liability, ability or strength of someone or something.

I have to add, before I start, that this verse just happens to be a special one for me! I have a friend back home who always reminded me of a couple of verses and this was a big one he never forgot to repeat often ❤ Just wanted to throw that little tidbit out there 😜

If you’ve never read the book of Proverbs, you’re missing out! I personally like many of the verses from that book. Solomon is the one who wrote the book of Proverbs, so you can find many wise scriptures in there.

Trust is a learned behavior. We can see trust occur naturally, usually in the beginning stages of our lives or another, through the relationship of a mother and child. Trust tends to be established at infancy because this new child is helpless without trust. This trust is built upon 4 main things:

Provision: Mom provides the basic needs.

Security: Her touch provides comfort and security.

Intimacy: Her voice and presence express unconditional love.

Mutuality: As the child matures, love is reciprocated.

When there is no trust in our lives, we will ultimately live a life full of negativity. Trust is something we must all learn, at one time or another; it’s never too late to learn! If you can’t trust anyone, put your trust in God because He provides for us both spiritually and emotionally; He works from the inside out!

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We can see that David was expressing hurt when he spoke about the rejection he felt from others and all the gossip and slander towards him, especially from those claiming to be his friends and even worse, family.

We all know, especially in times like now, that trust is not something we can easily give to others. I myself have a hard time putting trust in others; I’m very guarded. There are few people I completely trust, VERY few, but at least I can say there are those few that I can! I know some may ask, how can I trust God when I can’t even trust anyone else in my life? We all struggle with trust because we have all been hurt, betrayed, lied to and backstabbed and our natural human response is to trust no one. Those who hurt you are also hurt themselves because only hurt people, hurt people!

Why should we trust God? Trust is the glue that holds everything else together! He is 100% committed to you and He is never too busy or preoccupied to be there for you, whenever or wherever!

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In the scripture above, Moses reminds Joshua and Israel that God will always be there to go ahead of us. He will never fail to be there for us. He CAN be trusted.

The outcome of trusting God is:

Courage

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Courage to face anything and everything. We will never have to be afraid because we know that God is for us and goes with us no matter the circumstance. Put your trust in the Lord, not man. For instance, a doctor may tell you you’ve only got a certain amount of life left to live or you have an incurable condition, but God may have different plans for your life, so put your trust in Him because with Him anything is possible! He can cure and has cured many who have been told they couldn’t be.

Protection

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God put angels in charge over us. We all have an angel who watches over us; This is a promise from God.

Guidance

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That passage is so good we use it twice 😉 Seek God before making any decisions in our lives.

Healing

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God heals us spiritually through salvation. He heals us physically through “His stripes”. He heals us emotionally through all the hurt and rejection He himself faced. Many venture to say, but God doesn’t heal anymore, that was only back in biblical times but that is quite inaccurate. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow! We have taken for granted many miracles of life all around us. Nothing and I mean, NOTHING is too big for God to heal!

Prosperity

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Usually we tend to view prosperity in the form of financial blessings. You have everything you need with some leftover and we should always use that leftover to bless others and bring honor to God.

Finally,

Peace!

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If we put our trust in God, we see the trouble/difficulty yet we look beyond and keep our eyes on God! This doesn’t mean that in trusting God there will be an absence of conflict in our lives, but we will have the assurance during those times that all will be alright because God is for us and goes before us; we’ll be bigger and better for this! When we trust in Him, we will do more and experience more all we need to do is settle our trust issue.

I pray that all of us resolve any trust issues in our lives. I struggle with trust as I am sure many others do, and I pray that God continues to always prove to me and all of you why trust is worth giving. Sometimes if we close ourselves off we never take the risk of trusting someone and that someone may just have a pivotal role in our life. We may miss out on more blessings from God when we choose not to trust but play it safe by hiding our hearts away. May we all put our full trust in God and believe that He is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do!

Much Love and God Bless 💚

Grateful Heart

Good Morning Everyone!

I’m not quite sure if today I will be able to continue blogging my notes from the sermon series I have been listening to, it may have to be tomorrow. It would seem today is leading me down a different path; I seem to have woke up with a message on my heart, so we’ll see how it unfolds. I’m sure God is leading me to this message for a reason, so it’s likely something to offer peace and comfort to all of us in some form. ❤ Wherever He leads, I’ll go!

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I woke up this morning with an urgency to discuss gratefulness. Many of us, like myself, would say they’d consider themselves to be a rather grateful person; always doing their best daily to thank God for the blessings in their lives. Honestly, some days it seems I give thanks constantly because I am filled with an unexplainable joy. Good times seem to cultivate more joy and without much effort. What of the not-so-good days? How can we remain grateful, with that same unexplainable joy when our days aren’t going well or our life has taken some unexpected sharp turn?

I know I may seem wise, but I don’t have all the answers 😉 I will, however use personal experiences to give my best opinion/views on the matter. I also love using Bible scriptures as a reference because the Bible is our cheat sheet…it has all the answers to any question we will ever have, we only need to look.

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Most of us would say, I have a grateful heart. I wake up each morning, thank God for the gift of life and for the health and contentment of myself and my family. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this scenario; it’s ideal! We should be thanking God as soon as we wake up because He is the reason we do. But, we have all had those times in our lives when we have gotten so deep down in our trials that we wonder if we even want to wake to face another day. Of course, to me, this is a form of bitterness; something has gone wrong in our lives and we are a bit bitter and confused. We think things we don’t mean wholeheartedly because we feel pain, hurt and sadness. We want to know why. Why God is something like this happening to me? Am I not a good person? Am I not worthy?

A simple fact of life is, bad things can happen to the “best” of people just as they can to the “worst” of people. We are all human and no matter how good we are, we are never immune to the bad experiences in life. There is ALWAYS a reason, very evident or not, for why we are assigned specific mountains at certain times. In any circumstance, I can guarantee that a gift is hidden in the darkest of times. You’re being equipped to help someone else who will need you or your words. We can all appreciate and be thankful for people in our lives who give us great words and express care during our tough times, but in all honesty, don’t we wonder how they know how we feel when they haven’t been in our situation? We feel their heart is in the right place, they’re saying all the right things, but in a way their words are empty to us because we don’t believe they can relate. So, whose words can hold meaning to us most? Yes! The ones who have endured things we are going through. Someone who has personally been where we are at and made it to the other side! I believe any bad we go through gives us this unique ability to be someone else’s hope and light in their time of darkness. I know I sound repetitive with that statement, but it’s so true. Think of how many more people you can reach on a personal level, when you have been through some of the same situations they have. That is the beauty in our pain. That is where our gratefulness can come from in our darkest hours. We can thank Him for allowing us to go through this terrible time, because we know He has much bigger things in store for us. Trust me, in those hours, I KNOW it can be difficult and almost near impossible for us to think that way. It’s in our nature to question why something is happening to us, but remember we have tunnel vision and God has that panoramic view; He sees the whole picture, while our focus is what’s right in front of us at this moment.

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One of my most difficult times with maintaining a grateful heart during a hard time was when I endured the loss of my pregnancy in 2014. January 16th, 2014 to be exact; one never forgets. My husband and I had our oldest son at the time, he was approaching 2 years old, yet we were so excited to be expecting another child. We love babies and they’re an amazing miracle from God! Unfortunately, our baby wasn’t to be here on this Earth with us…we were unaware we had conceived a real angel. I feel we often forget that our babies are a true gift from God and they’re His before they are ever ours. Even with that knowledge, the pain didn’t seem to subside any. I was about 7-8 weeks when we lost our pregnancy. Some would say an insignificant amount of time to have such a tremendous reaction to, but no matter the size of the baby or the amount of time you carry your baby…it was still a part of you. You had plans for this baby that went years into the future; it was already a part of your life because it was a part of you. I remember going to the hospital because I had to leave work early that day because I started bleeding. Of course, some bleeding can be considered normal in the beginning of pregnancies, I however was not convinced. I guess I just knew in my heart where this was leading at that point. I passed some clots prior to leaving for the hospital and all I could do was cry. I do remember telling my father through my tears that if I’m losing my baby, it’s what God thinks is best for my baby and I. Still sadness was ever-present. There I sat in the hospital waiting room…waiting and waiting and all the while still bleeding. I felt like I’m losing my baby and no one is trying to help me. It’s an emergency! I’m in a hospital, I’m pregnant and bleeding and I can’t save my own baby and no one is coming to help; I must wait. What a sick and devastating feeling, especially as a mother, knowing what’s happening to your baby and yet you cannot do one thing to stop the process…all you can do is witness the unfolding of events. After waiting in the waiting room, being called back for blood work, then sent back to the waiting room, then called back to lay in a hospital bed in the middle of a crowded hallway and given an IV, I was finally seen. By the time they administered an ultrasound, there was no sign of pregnancy; like my baby never even existed. It was heartbreaking. At some point from leaving our home to waiting in the hospital, we had lost our baby. I had lost our baby. Guilt weighed heavy on me, as I felt I had failed at my job as a mother. I felt I had failed to keep my child safe and protected. They gave me a discharge paper which read in big, bold print: Miscarriage; then they sent us on our way. My husband and I got to the car and as we were leaving we just stopped the vehicle and held each other crying. It was such a long day, yet it seemed to happen in the blink of an eye. It’s a sadness and pain I would never wish on anyone. I struggled with seeing pregnant women or babies. I am a person who has always loved children and babies and pregnancy etc, yet I developed this aversion to them. I worked in a grocery store so it’s not like I could escape them. I remember crying because I missed being pregnant and knowing I was having another baby, yet I also cried because I didn’t want to be that kind of person. I didn’t want to feel that feeling of avoidance when encountering pregnant women, babies and children. I knew miscarriage was a common occurrence but we never imagine it could happen to us until it does. I’m not going to say I did not struggle and still don’t shed tears for our angel baby, but I chose a grateful heart instead of accepting a bitter one. I thanked God for the short time I had with our baby and I chose to talk openly about it to not only help my healing process, but to bring honor to the life we had made. I chose to name our baby, although gender was unknown, I went with Uriel, which means “God is my light.” It was confusing and one of our toughest times, but I told others I would be open about it because God will use me to help others going through the same circumstances and that He did! I have be able to help several people since and was able to give them comfort, peace and hope that no one else could.

Of course that example was one of many. Whether it’s my anxiety disorder, depression, struggles with self harm/ suicidal thoughts and tendencies and all that I have experienced, the same gift has come from all of it…the gift of light. In those times I often wondered the meaning and purpose of it all, but as time went by I had my “ah-ha!” moments. I realized God had better plans for my life. He might say yes, no, wait or simply not right now, but trust me when I say better is around the corner. ❤

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I sit here typing this to you at 30 weeks pregnant today with our 4th baby (3rd earthly baby). God is good 🙌 Nothing is impossible with Him! I know He cares for my Uriel until I am reunited with him/her later in life. I am still blessed in many ways! I am very blessed to be able to speak from a personal place to all of you as well! I pray my words always help someone who needs it! Let’s all be grateful in the good and bad times because we know God is for us, not against us!

Much Love and God Bless! ❤

Bitterness

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Can you guess what today’s sermon topic was on? 😉 Yes, today we discuss bitterness! This is something I very much needed to hear and I am certain I’m not the only one. I believe it’s an extremely relatable topic. Again, these are my notes mixed in with outline points from a sermon series I am following. This one is part of the Soul Therapy series, if you’ve been following my other posts. Whether you have or haven’t been following, I’d encourage you to continue reading because I guarantee you it will be relevant in your life.

In covering this topic, we’re basically going to break down that verse posted right above. First and foremost, we need to understand bitterness.

Bitterness: Deep controlling sense of anger and resentment, usually towards someone who has wronged us.

Resent is a Latin word which means to feel again.

So, we can deduce that resentment and bitterness work together in that we relive and constantly replay in our minds how people have wronged us. Bitterness and resentment, once let in, will only deepen. This is why the Bible advises us to watch out and avoid bitterness.

Bitterness poisons us, troubles us, corrupts us and plainly put, it’s a sin. Bitterness is poison to our souls; we are told this, yet we still consume it. It’s like reading a warning label on a chemical product and drinking it down anyway. Bitterness comes from being hurt by someone whether intentionally or non intentionally. Bitterness will grow and worsen and cause unhappiness. I would wager that all of you reading this know of someone in your life who lives in bitterness and they are one of the unhappiest people you know! Bitter people are constantly living in yesterday and it wrecks their today! If you reside in your past, you can’t be present in your future. You have condemned your own self to a life full of unhappiness and negativity. Sadly, bitterness doesn’t just affect us, it contaminates everyone around us and corrupts many. If we allow bitterness to reside in our lives, it will change how we interact with everyone in life. It compromises all of our current relationships/friendships and future ones as well.

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Bitterness is a sin and it can hold many captive. You can see when people are bitter; it’s evident in the way they relate to others, in how they speak, how they treat others and just how the live in general. Any sin will destroy you and bitterness is no exception. It will put a wedge between not only you and God, but between you and everyone else in life.

So, how do we get beyond the bitterness?

We confront it, we repent, we accept God’s sovereignty and we release ourselves! We confront bitterness by admitting we’ve been hurt/offended by someone and that we’re angry and resentful about it. We have to be honest with ourselves and quit trying to deceive ourselves. We will never be able to correct what we are unwilling to confront and this is why we must deal honestly with our feelings. Once we openly deal with our feelings, we can turn from our old ways of bitterness and turn to God for help!

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Are we obligated to talk to or confront the person or persons who have hurt us? Not always, but we should be asking the Holy Spirit to guide and direct us to where we should go and how we should deal with our bitterness. We may not always be led to confront or talk to the person or persons, but we should forgive them and move on. This is something I have personally dealt with and blogged about before. The hate, anger, resentment and bitterness will eat you alive. I often quote that meme we have all seen at least once, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” You’re the one dying a little every day while the person or persons you’re bitter towards are clueless; they don’t care and they’re free to live life while you have made yourself a prisoner in your own mind. Don’t give others that control over you, they don’t deserve it. I personally DID contact someone whom I was angry and resentful towards. I didn’t necessarily want to, but felt led to. I wasn’t looking to rekindle any friendship nor did I want to let this person back into my life, I just wanted to openly acknowledge how this person treated me and tell said person how despite all the negative they caused me, I forgive them. I’m not going to lie, it was HARD. It was so difficult, especially when I had been carrying this baggage around for years! There were many other things I would have loved to say as well, but the Holy Spirit kept me out of trouble and gave me the courage and strength to extend forgiveness. Now forgiveness doesn’t mean amnesia. We don’t have to forget to forgive and we don’t have to let the person or persons back into our lives. God allows things to happen in our lives for a purpose. He has a reason for every event, big or small. Most of the time we won’t understand why things have happened to us or are happening to us, but we can rest assured that God knows what is best for our lives and He is for us and never against us! We have all been hurt/offended by someone at some time in our lives; this is a part of life. Sometimes bad things happen to the best people, but we cannot let ourselves become bitter…we must get better!

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God elevated Joseph because despite how badly his brothers treated him and how cruel they were to him, Joseph refused bitterness. They intended to harm him but Joseph knew God had more in store for his life. Joseph knew God had a purpose for his life and a purpose for his pain. Another thing I say often is that all of the things we go through in life, especially the bad, equips us to help others. Our difficult times are giving us the gift to reach others and save them when their time comes. We go through the dark to become the light in someone else’s darkness. This is the basis of my blog! I have started it with the intention to use my struggles and pains to help as many people as I can! That’s the beauty of our pain! We can allow it to cause bitterness or we can allow it to cause betterness. 😜

We must trust God and His plans for our lives, even when we don’t see the full picture. He has our best interest at heart. Don’t waste your pain and disappointment; let God heal you and direct you and keep serving Him. Release yourself from the spiritual and emotional prison you have put yourself in!

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One of the toughest parts of getting beyond bitterness will be forgiving the person or persons that hurt you, trust me I KNOW! In forgiving them, whether they are aware of the forgiveness or not, you will release yourself from the weight of the bitterness you have been carrying! Trust me, TRUST ME when I say I still struggle with bitterness trying to creep its way back into my heart, soul and mind…but we have to let it go and leave it in the past. Don’t let anyone’s actions rob you of your joy and peace or ruin your relationships with other people in life. Don’t give those people any more power to hurt you and don’t give them the power to control your thoughts. Bitterness is not winning. Those people will never care that you are living with bitterness, they’ll be living free while you’re holding yourself captive. Free yourself, then you’ll win! ❤🙌

I pray anyone reading this today will find the courage and strength to let the Holy Spirit guide them in ridding their lives of bitterness. It will be hard, but in the end it will be very much worth it! You’ll feel a weight has been lifted and you can not only breathe again, but LIVE again!

Much Love and God Bless! ❤

P.s. We often forget how many times God has forgiven us and how forgiven we are. We shouldn’t let bitterness keep us from extending forgiveness to others because we are constantly extended forgiveness ourselves.

Don’t Wait! Speak Life To Someone, TODAY!

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These words.
These words are my actual words from a very real conversation I had with an extremely close friend.
These words also happen to be the last words I ever had with that friend.
You never know what tomorrow holds, so always speak with love and hope and compassion…
Speak LIFE. ❤
I always say, if you feel something, express it. If someone is put in your mind and you can’t seem to figure out why, contact that person and let them know you’re thinking about them. If you feel overcome with love and gratitude for someone in your life, no matter who it is, TELL them. If you have memories of someone that pop in your head randomly, seek that person out and share with them. It may make all the difference to them. You never know what someone else is going through, but the good thing is you don’t HAVE to know to share your love and appreciation for them!
Much love to you guys ❤ xoxo
You’re never too lost that you can’t be found and you’re never too broken that you can’t be repaired!

Tell someone today that you love them, appreciate them and are thinking of them!

A Clear Conscience

God addresses the challenges of life and offers us answers through His word, the Bible. In my last blog, I shared from the sermon series on Soul Therapy, which was all about Accepting Myself. We are a spirit. We have a soul. We live in a body. We should be viewing ourselves as God views us and be unconcerned with how the world views us. This blog is a continuation of that same sermon series of Soul Therapy. As you can see, this one will touch on the subject of a clear conscience and living with guilt.

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Conscience: A sense of right and wrong; it governs our thoughts and actions.

Many of us, Christian or not, live with a guilty conscience. We even get to a point where we don’t feel comfortable in God’s presence…whether praying, attending church etc. We often forget that we have been cleansed by the blood of Jesus.

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The key to a clear conscience is dealing with guilt.

Guilt: The nagging knowledge that we have done wrong; often accompanied by regret and shame.

There is both a positive guilt and a negative guilt. Living with negative guilt can rob us of any relationship in life, even our relationship with God. Positive guilt is the kind of guilt we are overcome with through the conviction of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit will convict us for things we have done wrong in the eyes of God. The Holy Spirit’s guilt is specific and focuses on exactly what we have done wrong and points us to God.

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The Spirit’s conviction will always point us to God, who offers forgiveness through repentance. When we repent we see our errors and commit ourselves to going God’s way. The Holy Spirit offers us the positive kind of guilt in that it always allows you an escape from danger; a remedy for your circumstance. The Spirit will always point you in the right direction and give you hope!

The devil’s guilt is the negative kind of guilt, otherwise known as condemnation. This guilt is never specific and is usually always general. This type of guilt points us away from God and tells us we are hopeless and without worth. Many people are living in condemnation, even when it comes to things they have already been forgiven for through God. The devil is relentless and will continually attempt to break you down. He will repeatedly bring up old issues to produce guilt in you and try to make you feel as a hypocrite, only to strip you of your beliefs. He will force-feed you lies such as, “God will never forgive you” and make you question yourself as a Christian. We must remind ourselves that we are free from condemnation through God! Christianity does not equal perfection. We sin before we become Christians and even after! So many of us become absorbed by guilt and yet we don’t determine it’s correct origin. Where is it coming from? Is it truly the Holy Spirit convicting you or is it the devil making you relive something God has already forgotten?

Sometimes with negative guilt we try to hide the wrong we have done. This may work with hiding from certain people but we all know we cannot hide anything from God. Trying to hide your guilt will weigh heavily on you and your health. You’ll try to ignore it, avoid it and yet you’ll remain miserable and exhausted. We cannot hide our guilt, we have to DEAL with it!

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Another wrong way we try to handle negative guilt is by rationalizing the wrong! Some try to justify their wrong doings like King Saul. King Saul started off on the right path but ended in tragedy. He continually made decisions without consulting God and placed blame elsewhere; always blaming others for the outcome of his own actions. With these type of people there is always a “because” or reason they will give you for why they did wrong. This is not responding correctly to guilt.

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Genesis 3:11-12 is probably the most classic example of someone trying to rationalize and place blame.

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We see God talking to Adam and Adam placing blame on Eve. Instead of owning up to his decision to eat the forbidden fruit (which he was told not to eat) he tried to shift the blame from himself to Eve.

ALL of us know right from wrong. We ALL ultimately make our own decisions in life. We have to stop placing blame for our wrong choices on how we were raised, our parents, our siblings, our friends, where we had to grow up etc and we have to acknowledge we are in charge of what we choose. We have to take responsibility for our actions. There comes a point in time where we are all old enough to know right from wrong and we cannot use those excuses or continue to blame those people or circumstances for our mistakes and bad choices now.

To enjoy a clear conscience we must address the guilt, confess the guilt, accept forgiveness and live freely! Everyone makes mistakes and we will never experience grace if we don’t address our sin.

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God erases our mistakes and makes us clean. He is always offering us a fresh start and we must not let the devil keep reminding us of what God has already forgotten! You’re not obligated to entertain the devil. Put him in his place and live freely through God!

I pray all of us are able to decipher between the positive and negative kind of guilt in our lives. May we all deal with our guilt and set ourselves free! Don’t live in negative guilt and allow the devil to control your mind. Remind yourself that you are forgiven by God. We can never go wrong when we bring our problems to God!

Much Love and God Bless 💚

Accepting Myself

I listened to the first of a new sermon series today and it’s entitled Soul Therapy. The first sermon was all about accepting who you are. I am excited for this series because self-esteem and self-image are things I have struggled with most of my life and I feel I am not alone in that! I believe so many of us struggle with these issues and I hope that my notes and thoughts on these sermons may help someone reading in some way!

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Many times the greatest battles in our lives, both spiritually and physically, are from within our own minds. The enemy (the devil) can do more damage in our minds than anything else. If he is let in our mind, he can slowly gain control and ultimately change our perception of ourselves and hinder our relationships with not only other people but God as well. In the passage above, David was amazed with God’s workmanship. David was someone who was rejected many times in life, yet he often reminded himself that God made him and he has value!

We need to recognize the poison or poisons of self-rejection.

Insecurity-lack of confidence which usually leads to feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. This can then lead us to jealousy.

Jealousy-When we are filled with self-rejection we can become jealous of others; what they do, what they have, how they look etc. Jealousy can lead us to anger.

Anger-Occurs when we are always comparing ourselves and believing we got the short end of the stick. This can then lead to selfishness.

Selfishness-Can be a result of poor self-esteem. It can cause us to become absorbed with ourselves and give us I-itis. Everything will be about “I, I, I” which can lead to the last of the poisons of self-rejection, fear.

Fear-We will end up living in fear. Fear of what might happen to us. Fear of trying. Fear of failing.

All of these points will poison our spirit and souls. We are all spirits and we all have a soul and our soul is our mind, will and emotions. If our spirit, and especially our soul is poisoned, the devil will use this against us. The devil will never hesitate to use self-rejection to control how we feel and destroy us.

The place of self-esteem.

Many people have heard the verse above, yet don’t often focus too much on the last 5 words. “Love your neighbor as yourself.” This is hard to fulfill when we don’t love ourselves. If we don’t love ourselves, we can’t truly love anyone else. We don’t need to become arrogant and prideful, but there is a balance between having too high of self-esteem and too low of self-esteem, and the balance or middle ground is ideal! Too high or too low of self-esteem are equally harmful.

Self image is how we view ourselves and that in turn determines our value. So we’ll never know or acknowledge our true values if our perception of ourselves is off. Self-esteem is how we value ourselves. I think it goes without saying that both self-image and self-esteem work hand in hand. We cannot have one without the other. David, whom we referred to at the beginning of the blog, had a great handle on self-image and self-esteem; often reminding himself that God made him and he found his value in that fact.

Our functional nature is based on what we can do. This includes our talents and abilities gifted to us by God. We ALL have been given a unique gift or talent and even some of us are given multiple gifts and talents. Our gifts and talents can determine our functional nature.

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Intrinsic nature has to do with who we are as a person. In Psalm 139:14 it states, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” David wasn’t boasting in pride but he was biblically and spiritually recognizing God made him. He knew he was special in the eyes of the Lord and that God does not make junk. We would all do good to remember that. When we are feeling down on ourselves in any way, we need to remember God created us the way we are and He does not make junk! We are all made unique and we should be confident in who we are and BE that person. BE YOU!

We need to change the way we think by accepting God’s viewpoint of who we are.

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In “our” image or in “our” likeness. Our or “us” refers to The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit! We have been given authority and part of God is in ALL of us. We were ALL made in their image. How then, knowing that, can we view ourselves in a negative light?

We have to stop comparing ourselves to other people. This is both unhealthy and unproductive. No two snowflakes or blades of grass are the same; they’re unique and such is the same with people. We are all unique and no two people are the same or have been equipped with the same abilities or talents. We need to compare ourselves to the Lord and strive to be like Him and NOT like others around us.

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Remember, your weakness doesn’t disqualify you! Moses gave about 5 different excuses to disqualify himself because he didn’t seem to think to highly of himself.

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What Moses didn’t realize is that we ALL have weaknesses but none of those disqualifies us from being used by God! We need to focus more on what we CAN do and less on what we CAN’T do!

We also need to separate our worth from our importance. We should always strive to do our best; try our hardest in all we do! We are never going to win every time and we will never be immune to criticism, but our failure or even our success does NOT define our worth to God!

I fully understand the struggle with self-esteem and self-image; I have never been one who thought highly of myself at all! I often told people if given a scale of 1 to 10 my level would be in the negatives! Many times it’s hard for us to reprogram our brains to see our worth when we were wired at younger ages to believe negative things others told us about ourselves. It will definitely be a challenge for myself, but I have never thought that the way I viewed myself basically insults God. If I don’t love who I am, am I not telling God He made a mistake? We all know God doesn’t make mistakes, therefore I (and you) are created just how we are meant to be created…we just have to nourish ourselves in the right way to grow in the right direction! Reflecting back, I think I allowed some things to happen in my life (maybe not intentionally) but I believe now that my lack of self-image and self-esteem caused my poor judgement in several areas in life. The good thing is that God doesn’t condemn me for any of it, but graciously accepts me and has confidence that I can always grow from these situations. Not all of us view negative circumstances in that way, but I believe all that happens to us equips us to learn, grow and then help others who need help that we once needed ourselves! I pray that everyone reading this acknowledges any poison of self-rejection in their lives and makes every effort to rid it from their lives, especially their minds! May we all recognize our uniqueness, special talents and differences as positives! You are exactly who you are supposed to be! Let us all love ourselves for who we are inside and out and let that allow us to love each other the same!

Remember, you were not made to be the same as anyone else, so don’t attempt to be!

Much Love and God Bless ❤