I have been lurking around my own old social media posts, to dig up some gems that I could build upon on here. I found a few promising topics and I may just use one now! I haven’t been blogging much in the early morning, although with the kids sleeping it would be a more opportune time, I tend to wait to see what inspiration the day and God hands me. Today, I feel this topic works for so many people, although it’s widely perceived as more of a female issue, I am confident more males deal with it than is admitted.
Self Esteem.
Most of my life I would have deemed myself someone with zero self esteem…I would have even ventured to tell you a negative number! It’s unfortunate how many people in this world don’t recognize their own worth. It’s very sad and I don’t see that issue getting any better, if anything (in my opinion) it’s gotten worse with all the “rage” there is around the cosmetic industry and not to mention society’s ever-growing expectations of how one should look. I am very much a person who doesn’t care how I am viewed by others (if you could see old school photos, you’d understand more lol) but even being a person who doesn’t let people under their skin as I have gotten older, I didn’t always shrug off the words of others. I believe, subconsciously, we hold on to much more than we realize. We hear the words of others in our own heads but it’s in our own voice and not theirs. Somewhere down the line we gave a person or persons the power to enter our thoughts and alter our perception of self.
I’ll share something I have previously written on a social media post, and then continue on from there. Here’s what I wrote, “It’s been an extremely long journey for me to look at this girl in the mirror and say, “eh, you’re aaaiigght!” I literally used to avoid anything that showed a reflection whenever I could.
Getting ready for school I’d brush my teeth to the side of the mirror. I remember any time I’d catch a glimpse in my bedroom mirror, I’d break down in tears because one glimpse would reveal at least 15 flaws I saw with my appearance. One glimpse and the echo of all the negative words I had constantly been fed would overwhelm my mind. No matter what, I always seemed to JUST miss that boat; that boat which offered a cruise upstream through a plethora of compliments that would nourish self-esteem and self-confidence, yet I always seemed to be left in the wake.
Left in the wake in rough, choppy water…always struggling to stay afloat amongst the never-ending negative words which forever consumed me. Trying to always keep my head held high, but only ever keeping it just above water…just enough to survive, just enough to simply be.
I now am at a point where I realize the rough choppy water was never a reflection of myself, but a reflection of those whom the hatred often flowed from.
Today, I am FAR from confident, but I can look at myself and see more than the negative words. More than the comparisons. I can say maybe you’re alright, and to say I’m alright to myself may not seem like much, but it’s a pretty big deal. It may seem as if I am exaggerating, but trust me when I say I wish these words were an exaggeration. Unfortunately hateful words from unhappy and cruel people starting a young, impressionable age (just 8 years old) can ultimately affect you for a lifetime. I’ll always hear them in the back of my mind, I am just hopeful they will drown. 👐🖒 Drown out hate and let the love always flow. 💋❤ I pray that every last person reading this knows how beautiful they are, inside and out and how much they are worth. Never let the words of others define who you are, especially who you are to yourself!”
I didn’t feel that I could have written it any better than that day, thus sharing the actual post. I’m sure not everyone can relate to this topic, but I am very sure there are thousands out there (at least) who can and hopefully they can start to heal. I do want everyone reading this to know their worth and believe they are more than any negative comments that have ever been made about them. Some of us, at one time or another, may not have understood that hateful and unhappy people want nothing more than to bring others down to their level of unhappiness. Misery loves company; but we control whether we sink or swim. It’s a difficult process to overcome those thoughts, especially when so many comments were constantly fed to you. I wouldn’t say I personally have amazing self esteem, like I mentioned previously I would have said zero or some negative number…but today, I could say I’ve made my way over to the positive side of the number line, even if it’s a 1, it’s still a step in the right direction.
My challenge for you today would be to stand in front of a mirror and think or say something positive about yourself. Something that I often found confusing is that I had confidence in who I was, in my character, yet it was the outer shell I believed didn’t match. So, when I tell yo to think or say something positive about yourself…it can be appearance or even something about who you are inside, or both! Write 5 positive things about your appearance/character on a piece of paper and keep it somewhere that you can easily find it; heck, post it on the mirror! 😊 Our differences/uniqueness is where true beauty comes from. The world is full of such diverse beauty, yet everyone strives to look like each other or act like each other. Find confidence in yourself and don’t compare yourself to others or let others compare you to someone else. You have a beauty that no one else has, use it! May you come to the realization that all those comments you were ever force-fed were and are a reflection of the person who said them or says them; they were/are never about you in the first place. Much love and God Bless!
Still Standing 