The Feeling Of Defeat.

Have you ever felt defeated?

Have you ever woke up and already felt like you’re one step behind?

This week, maybe even a little longer, has felt so crazy to me. I have felt overwhelmed and stressed out and just on edge. It’s as if more and more keeps getting piled on top of my shoulders and I’m starting to sink into the ground! One little thing goes wrong, which leads to another, which adds to the pile and then pretty soon I’m drowning in emotions…ALL of them! I’m down because there are SO many tasks to be done, yet there never seems to be enough time for them all. I will feel like a failure many days because I haven’t gotten every little thing done that I needed to or planned to. The expectations I set for myself may exceed what one person could or should do in a day, but I get frustrated nonetheless. This can just bring on more negative…depression, anxiety, lacking patience, anger and even self pity.  We as humans get into these “funks” and before we realize it we’ve already spent way too much time there. I do not like negativity at all, yet when I get into one of these funks, the output is negative-negative-negative!

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Recently,  I have started throwing myself into working out again and just simply being more active. Like I mentioned before, this week has been pretty crazy and I woke up feeling off. I checked the verse of the day and it was one that has carried me throughout most of my life. Isaiah 41:10.Screenshot_20190719-052516

I truly didn’t think much of it this morning and I went on with my day. I had this online seminar I was to attend at a specific time today…long story short, my internet connection is super slow and it would not work on my phone, so 45 mins into trying to get into this online event and no luck. I tried everything and still couldn’t get it to work. FINALLY I was able to get in and got the information I needed and was blessed that it wasn’t completely over with! That one thing that seems so minor now, just added to the pile and truly made me feel even more defeated.

A little later on, I got ready for my 2 mile walk. Just getting to the treadmill when you have 3 kids is an accomplishment in itself! I’m a fan of music; I have always loved a huge array of music and normally I’d put my Pandora on a station which is going to kick out rock of some sort while I am on my walk…today though, I felt a tugging at my heart to go to one of my Christian stations I have programmed on there. I go to the station, which would normally play songs with a variety of messages, as the first song starts I notice it’s a favorite of mine Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns.Screenshot_20190805-074029~2 I didn’t think much of the message it speaks, then the next song comes on In The Eye Of The Storm, which kind of catches my attention. Screenshot_20190805-074311This goes on the entire walk. Praise You In This Storm comes on and I think to myself, I hear you. Screenshot_20190805-074606.pngThe songs started out as recognition of being in the midst of these storms of life “I see you, I hear you…” then they turned to “now here is what to do.” It’s far too easy to get caught up in the negativity that piles up and just succumbing to it. We forget that most of it can be little issues which we have let turn into something far larger than what’s needed. I tend to tell others often, somewhere someone is wishing to have the problem you’re having because they’re going through something much more intense and then here I am giving into these negative feelings and thoughts which then adds to the guilt I’m already feeling.

Today I am reminded that there are indeed others out there who wish for my problems. I am also reminded that there are others out there feeling exactly how I am feeling and I am not as alone as I often feel! Let us learn to let go of the small stuff and let God handle it for us. With anxiety, you think about EVERYTHING, you obsess over little things and you worry constantly. God calls us not to be anxious for anything but instead bring it to Him. My life is FULL of so many blessings and miracles and they outweigh all the negative, hands down! I pray to see from God’s perspective daily. Screenshot_20190805-074940.pngI pray for the strength to only here the voice of truth through all of the things swirling around in my mind. I am thankful for the reminder that God is always there, no matter the circumstance and I am seen and heard. I am thankful that His breath is in my lungs and I don’t have to take on life alone. Every day, whether it’s good or bad, is a blessing. Every day is a day that God has already planned for you far before you were born. He knows just what should happen and when. He knows exactly what we all are going to have to stand against and He never leaves our side. I don’t know about you, but I feel very unworthy of that…especially when I am wallowing in my own self pity.

I pray for everyone reading this that if you are feeling defeated think of those out there who are literally fighting for their lives daily and still they wear a smile every single day. Our issues may seem big and they may just actually be big, but somewhere hidden in the midst of our struggles are blessings, we just need to change our mindset to find them.

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Much love and God Bless!

Let Them Know

So, I have always lived with this philosophy that if you feel something, you let it be known. It may sound like it’s not always a good idea, but it’s living honestly. If someone has upset me, I need to talk to that person and work through it or at least voice to them how they have made me feel or how I have perceived what they said. If I am happy and joyful, sad or anxious, I talk about it-even if no one is listening at least I have said it out loud…although, a good thing to remember is that God is always listening 🙌  I also make sure to express my love and feelings to the ones I truly care about on a regular basis!

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There are many times where I have this very strong urge to get in touch with a specific person and I never ignore it and if it ever happens to you, you should never ignore it either! I always view this as a gift God has given me, because each time I have these strong feelings to say specific things to specific people, it’s at a time they need it most; it’s like I sense a disturbance in the force. 😜

No one knows how long they have here on Earth, or how long any of their family/friends/loved ones have either, so we should make a point to stop what we are doing and make time to let those we love most know we love them and are thinking about them; you never know when a day might come and you won’t be able to do so. Trust me, I completely understand being guarded, I too have trust issues, but this is all about giving and not worrying about how others feel towards you. Of course it’s always nice if the love is reciprocated, but don’t base your happiness on hearing back all the kind and loving things you say. Some of us live in fear of expressing our love because it just doesn’t come easy to us, it feels awkward and many times it’s because one or both parents didn’t feel comfortable expressing themselves to you as a child and it’s a repeated behavior. The fear can even come from always giving your love to others and they just treat it as if it’s worthless trash. All I am saying is, none of that matters. All you need to worry about is your feelings and letting those you love know it before it’s too late and just let them know without expecting a response.

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In this same spirit, we should never shy away from sharing our faith with our loved ones, especially our loved ones who may not know about God or believe in Him. We can let them know His love never fails and in Him we have comfort, peace, security, love, hope, forgiveness, life and eternity. If they never hear it, they’ll never know it. All we can do is put it out there and it’s up to them what they want to do with that information. How amazing it would be if one day when we get to Heaven, those we told that may not have believed, greet us at the gates! How priceless that would be. I want to be the reason someone makes it to Heaven!

I want to pray for anyone out there today who struggles with expressing themselves and anyone who has recently lost someone close to them or even if they’ve lost someone close years ago, may you all find comfort and peace in Him. May we all understand that God has a plan for each and every one of us and although we may not understand certain things that happen, God knows what should happen and when and even why. His plan isn’t always going to be easy, but one day we will understand. May you always lean on Him. In His name I pray! Amen!

screenshot_2019-01-08-14-59-48-1Much Love and God Bless! 💚