The Feeling Of Defeat.

Have you ever felt defeated?

Have you ever woke up and already felt like you’re one step behind?

This week, maybe even a little longer, has felt so crazy to me. I have felt overwhelmed and stressed out and just on edge. It’s as if more and more keeps getting piled on top of my shoulders and I’m starting to sink into the ground! One little thing goes wrong, which leads to another, which adds to the pile and then pretty soon I’m drowning in emotions…ALL of them! I’m down because there are SO many tasks to be done, yet there never seems to be enough time for them all. I will feel like a failure many days because I haven’t gotten every little thing done that I needed to or planned to. The expectations I set for myself may exceed what one person could or should do in a day, but I get frustrated nonetheless. This can just bring on more negative…depression, anxiety, lacking patience, anger and even self pity.  We as humans get into these “funks” and before we realize it we’ve already spent way too much time there. I do not like negativity at all, yet when I get into one of these funks, the output is negative-negative-negative!

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Recently,  I have started throwing myself into working out again and just simply being more active. Like I mentioned before, this week has been pretty crazy and I woke up feeling off. I checked the verse of the day and it was one that has carried me throughout most of my life. Isaiah 41:10.Screenshot_20190719-052516

I truly didn’t think much of it this morning and I went on with my day. I had this online seminar I was to attend at a specific time today…long story short, my internet connection is super slow and it would not work on my phone, so 45 mins into trying to get into this online event and no luck. I tried everything and still couldn’t get it to work. FINALLY I was able to get in and got the information I needed and was blessed that it wasn’t completely over with! That one thing that seems so minor now, just added to the pile and truly made me feel even more defeated.

A little later on, I got ready for my 2 mile walk. Just getting to the treadmill when you have 3 kids is an accomplishment in itself! I’m a fan of music; I have always loved a huge array of music and normally I’d put my Pandora on a station which is going to kick out rock of some sort while I am on my walk…today though, I felt a tugging at my heart to go to one of my Christian stations I have programmed on there. I go to the station, which would normally play songs with a variety of messages, as the first song starts I notice it’s a favorite of mine Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns.Screenshot_20190805-074029~2 I didn’t think much of the message it speaks, then the next song comes on In The Eye Of The Storm, which kind of catches my attention. Screenshot_20190805-074311This goes on the entire walk. Praise You In This Storm comes on and I think to myself, I hear you. Screenshot_20190805-074606.pngThe songs started out as recognition of being in the midst of these storms of life “I see you, I hear you…” then they turned to “now here is what to do.” It’s far too easy to get caught up in the negativity that piles up and just succumbing to it. We forget that most of it can be little issues which we have let turn into something far larger than what’s needed. I tend to tell others often, somewhere someone is wishing to have the problem you’re having because they’re going through something much more intense and then here I am giving into these negative feelings and thoughts which then adds to the guilt I’m already feeling.

Today I am reminded that there are indeed others out there who wish for my problems. I am also reminded that there are others out there feeling exactly how I am feeling and I am not as alone as I often feel! Let us learn to let go of the small stuff and let God handle it for us. With anxiety, you think about EVERYTHING, you obsess over little things and you worry constantly. God calls us not to be anxious for anything but instead bring it to Him. My life is FULL of so many blessings and miracles and they outweigh all the negative, hands down! I pray to see from God’s perspective daily. Screenshot_20190805-074940.pngI pray for the strength to only here the voice of truth through all of the things swirling around in my mind. I am thankful for the reminder that God is always there, no matter the circumstance and I am seen and heard. I am thankful that His breath is in my lungs and I don’t have to take on life alone. Every day, whether it’s good or bad, is a blessing. Every day is a day that God has already planned for you far before you were born. He knows just what should happen and when. He knows exactly what we all are going to have to stand against and He never leaves our side. I don’t know about you, but I feel very unworthy of that…especially when I am wallowing in my own self pity.

I pray for everyone reading this that if you are feeling defeated think of those out there who are literally fighting for their lives daily and still they wear a smile every single day. Our issues may seem big and they may just actually be big, but somewhere hidden in the midst of our struggles are blessings, we just need to change our mindset to find them.

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Much love and God Bless!

Empty Cup

Today I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I have had a lot on my mind and I’m not sure where this post will lead, but I will just go whenever it leads.

I’m tired, pregnant, a wife and a mom of 2 younger boys…that should explain a lot lol but in addition to all of that, dealing with your average stressful situations can some days be overwhelming, especially for someone who is prone to worry and stress. Some days I feel I could take on the world, while others I feel I can barely get out of bed. Some days the boys play together wonderfully and other days they like to pester each other.  Certain times I can get my house work done while most of the time I can get only parts done, if any at all. I can be extremely hard on myself and set too many expectations for myself as well. I feel the need to always get every thing done at once and I tend to overload myself. I think many of us mothers can have a tendency to overwork ourselves; we put too much on our plates and then feel like a failure of we didn’t get it all done. We are constantly working so you would assume we would cut ourselves some slack!

Although I lack a self-care routine, I find that it is a great idea if you can manage the time. Take a few moments to recharge and take care of yourself. Doing something for yourself seems so foreign to me; I am the one who takes care of everyone. I don’t just take care of my immediate family, but I am always there for any other family members or friends who need me, no matter the time or how busy I am or even how stressed or anxious I am; I make sure I help them all, even if they wouldn’t or don’t do the same! In a way it’s flattering and honoring to have so many people look to you in their times of need, but sometimes we have to be “selfish”, in a good way! If we don’t take care of our own needs occasionally, we won’t be able to effectively take care of the ones we love.

My prayer today is for anyone feeling overwhelmed and spread too thin! I pray that you are able to take a step back, breathe, recharge, re-center and get back at it with more confidence and less stress. May you tell yourself it’s alright if not every thing gets done in one hour or even one day! I pray you allow yourself to prioritize and come up with practical solutions that will alleviate your amount of anxiety, stress and worry.

Much love and God Bless ❤

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